


kevin + texting

by RosebudBasilton



Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Crack, Friendship, Gen, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-01-24 05:14:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,182
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21332839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosebudBasilton/pseuds/RosebudBasilton
Summary: kevin is brutal on the court, at dorms, and anywhere he can open his mouth. over text, he's a loose canon.OR9 people who wish kevin would stop texting them and 1 person who's just as absurd as him.
Relationships: Kevin Day & David Wymack, Kevin Day & The Foxes (All For The Game), Kevin Day/Thea Muldani
Comments: 15
Kudos: 183





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> i might orphan this bc im not extremely pround of it, but all of these texts are based off actual things my friends make me read

_Aaron_

kevin: ggod can u fucking imagine

kevin: like can yo

kevin: FUCKing imagine

aaron: what

kevin: you didnt answer my question

-

_Neil_

kevin: im horny and thea wont pick up, give me attention or so help me GOD i will jack it

-

_Andrew_

kevin: do u think david cameron made up all that hype abt swine flu bc he was pissed off that he fucked that pig and she didnt call him back??

andrew: kevin the pig was dead

kevin: not to ruin a perfectly good bit, but i feel like that isnt the part of the message you should be concerned with

-

_Matt_

matt: hey, do you guys have any milk i can borrow

kevin: im not legally able to say

matt: what does that mean

kevin: no comment

-

_Dan_

kevin: papa says practice is starting later tomorrow

dan: please dont call him that

kevin: oh sorry

kevin: my daddy says practice is starting later tomorrow

dan: i swear to fuck

-

_Allison_

kevin: hi im at the Clothes Store

kevin: what clothes do i buy

allison: something pretty

kevin: was not able to buy cashier

allison: kevin stop

kevin: OH BUT I GOT HIS NUMBER THOUGH

allison: KEVIN STOP

-

_Nicky_

nicky: hey kev, what are you watching??

kevin: documentary

nicky: it sounds a lot like porn

kevin: dickumentary

nicky: kevin dont you have a girlfriend

kevin: we're watching it together, what part of this is confusing you

nicky: i

nicky: okay

-

_Renee_

renee: hi kevin, i loved your shirt today!

kevin: thanks! i grew it myself :)

renee: nevermind

-

_Wymack_

kevin: dad i need attention

kevin: dad if you dont text me back in 5 minutes im going to buy every single sims 4 DLC at once

kevin: dad

kevin: papa

kevin: dad you're running out of time, this is hundreds of dollars

david: please dont do that

kevin: too late

\+ 1

_Thea_

thea: kinktober, except we review a kink everyday

kevin: go on

thea: we watch porn of a kink everyday and discuss it afterwards, keep records, etcetera

thea: i saw something absolutely bonkers and i NEED you to see it

kevin: i've never loved you more than right now

thea: :)


	2. 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wasnt gnna post another chapter of this but im celebrating a big health-related win today and decided it would be fun :)

**Andrew.**

kevin: my mouth hurts, come kiss it better

kevin: oh shit this isnt neil

andrew: turn on your location right the fuck now

×

**Neil. **

neil: do we have practice tonight? 

kevin: if you really cared, you would know

neil: what

kevin: dont sweet talk me

×

**Nicky. **

kevin: do we have food

kevin: oh my god nevermind im so about to shit myself 

nicky: BRO???

kevin: please never look at me again

×

**Dan.**

kevin: is it unacceptable to call Wymack 'papa' in front of the referee

dan: what did you do???? 

kevin: are you listening to me at all

×

**Allison.**

allison: hey, thea's here!!

kevin: oh my god

kevin: we shall have a spring wedding

allison: why cant you just be normal

×

**Matt.**

matt: kevin

matt: [what.jpg]

matt: why do you have a worm on a string on your hair?

kevin: his name is monty and he doesn't respect you

matt: okay

×

**Aaron**

kevin: hey so im in the hospital

kevin: weird urge to drink the blood they just took out of my arm

aaron: why are you

aaron: what the fuck happened

kevin: well they took it out of my arm and idk it looked kinda tasty

aaron: ok im blocking you

×

**Renee**

renee: hi kevin, i think i pick up your sweater by mistake, shall i return it?

kevin: wait how big is it on you

renee: [sweater.jpg]

kevin: omg slay queen

renee: im going to keep it bc i dont want to see you in person i just decided

kevin: that's fair

×

**Wymack**

wymack: Kid, can I get you to run practice for the first half hour tonight? I have a meeting

kevin: is that a wise decision, dad?

wymack: If I get to practice and everyone is collapsed on the court with their legs blown out from trying to do drills and dance to Carly Rae Jepsen again, I'm going to bench you.

kevin: well that's just rude

wymack: I'll ask Dan

kevin: good idea

×

_ **Bonus:** _

**Jeremy**

jeremy: u ever wonder about playing exy with a giant jaw breaker as a ball?

kevin: jaw break??

jeremy: oh uhh

jeremy: gobstopper?

kevin: OH

kevin: wait that's not a bad idea u could catch it in ur mouth

jeremy: technically you could do that with a normal ball

kevin: i like where ur going with this


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the inconsistent formatting........the unpredictable uploads...................the batshit texts that i've forced upon my real life friends...............................who else does it like this honey

_ Neil.  _

kevin: i think i would like to be a cow

neil: Excuse me?

kevin: wow i finally figured out how to get a reply from you

×

_ Andrew.  _

kevin: and then i was like, 'what the hell are you?'

andrew: what

kevin: oh um

kevin: this is actually a private conversation, so if you could just

kevin: go?

andrew: kevin you texted me

kevin: im literally just trying to a have a private conversation and you're being so rude right now

andrew: okay fine i'll go

kevin: thank you

kevin: so yeah then she just kept scaling this wall and i was like 'what the fuck?'

andrew: wow

kevin: dude i JUST told you to leave

andrew: FINE

kevin: jesus can you believe that guy

×

_ Nicky.  _

nicky: kevin its 4am why are you laughing

kevin: i had a dream i was being chased by Howl from Howl's Moving Castle 

kevin: i remembered i was dreaming halfway through

kevin: i think i killed howl

nicky: what kind of breakdown are you having

kevin: not a good one!

×

_ Aaron.  _

aaron: i need a gift idea for katelyn's birthday

aaron: im desperate

kevin: i have about 100 tiny plastic cows

aaron: what

aaron: why would you

aaron: have that

kevin: i have other offers for these cows, aaron

aaron: fine

×

_ Dan.  _

dan: kevin

kevin: yeas

dan: i appreciate you giving me a birthday present

kevin: oh no worries :)

dan: but why does this sweater say "I Eat Oil Paintings When Security Guards Aren't Looking"

kevin: because im onto you :)

dan: what

×

_ Matt.  _

kevin: i noticed you got taller

matt: oh yeah! :)

kevin: that'll change

matt: how

matt: kevin

matt: kevin i like being tall please

matt: KEVIN

×

_ Allison.  _

allison: why is katelyn producing a worrying amount of little plastic cows from her bag

kevin: why do you assume i know

allison: i want in on this deal

kevin: $5 by monday

allison: done

×

_ Renee.  _

renee: im going to attempt to text you without becoming horribly psychologically scarred

kevin: what if your teeth folded like accordians every time you chewed

renee: i cant believe this.

×

_ Wymack.  _

david: Hey kid, can I get a ride back from the airport tonight?

kevin:

david: What a polite young man.

×

** _Bonus:_ **

_ Katelyn. _

katelyn: i see the transaction was successful

kevin: why did you need so many cows

kevin: im running a cow market here, katelyn. i have offers to fulfil, shipping dates up to mid-June

katelyn: that is YOUR problem. i got what i wanted.

katelyn: enough tiny cows to glue together to make a slightly bigger cow

kevin: i seriously, honestly, from the bottom of my heart, need you to see a therapist.


	4. bonus group chat bullshit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im a little drunk so it's rough lads. it's rough. buti stripped these scenarios (with my onw BARE HANDS) and injected them into my ultimate aftg uiniverce full of only the things i choose think or remember and have brought..............something terrible.
> 
> sorry about the bad jokes my friends suck i love them so much i hope none of you ever have to meet them <3

**Chat:** **_foxy freaky babes_**

ally: i need a new hairdresser

ally: this lady just fucked up my ends

kev: me i'll do it

drew: i don't trust you with bleach and peroxide

kevin: oh Beverages??

aaron: sure, if you want to turn your throat into a blood slushy

kev: a THIRD beverage???

×

neil: gonna do a split dye on my hair

neil: opinions? comments? thoughts and prayers??

neil: kevin i see you typing and i do not give a shit about your opinion

kev: thoughts and prayers ❤️

neil: i will shit on your grave

kev: fertiliser ❤️

×

kev: what if 😳 you wanted 😱😤 to go ➡️ to heaven 😇 but god said 😔 skibedebop bop badoo ba skee bop badeedee doopah 🎷

drew: can we stop being friends

drew: i don't think i can take anymore psychological trauma

kev: no it wasn't negotiated in your collective agreement 

drew: what

kev: you have no legal grounds

dan: there's gotta be a hole in the contract, there always is

drew: we have a blood deal though

drew: if I murder him....im free but ill also die

kev: win win

kev: see you in turbo hell buddy

×

matty: do you guys wanna play 

matty: wait nvm 

matty: that wont work

matty: ignore that 

kev: ok

matty: thanks

dan: what was it 

ally: yeah what

matty: ok i worked it out

kev: worked what out

matty: if I spent $50 on a ps2 multitap adapter and 1 more controller, would you wanna play the most cursed party game I own?

kev: the thing you told me to ignore which im now actively ignoring? 

kev: im not looking at your messages anymore in case it contains the thing you told me to ignore

matty: the one only me and dan play and we have never finished because it induces a panic attack everytime

kev: wow what great weather we're having

matty: that game

kev: kind of cold if you ask me

matty: im just gonna ignore that u exist

matty: no more friend

matty: no more 4am tiktoks

matty: no more simping for corpsehusband with you

kev: im gonna watch my true crime beauty youtuber and type without looking at your messages because if i stop ignoring the thing you told me to ignore then i'll have broken our trust and i dont wanna do that ur my brother

dan: everything about you two is infuriating

×

kev: dont bully me today challenge 😡

renee: wow kevin you're complexion today is amazing

nicky: what a handsome man

drew: fuck you

drew: i mean

drew: i love kevin

drew: best friend bestest friend ever wow my (second maybe third) favourite person in this group chat

drew: i would NEVER be mean to kevin

drew: i love him

drew: so much love for my very good friend kevin

kev: i know it's fake but goddamn i'll take it

×

aaron: b

kev: boobies?

aaron: yeah how did you know

kev: booby booby

renee: hey why come you're both smart capable people but when you talk your brains go to mush

kev: too much jackin

aaron: im leaving

×

nicky: what's happening today babes?

kev: the kakapo just won new zealand's Bird of the Year election

kev: this is BULLSHIT

ally: long live the green parrot, down with the depressed lactose intolerant clown

kev: KAKAPO DOESNT FUCKING DESERVW ANYTHINDJCBDBDJBDND BEBF

neil: you dont deserve to breathe yet here we are

×

dan: my phone storage is low so im deleting all of kevin's selfies and keeping only the photos i have of aaron vaping

kev: terrible priorities you have there but go on

×

kev: omg we have a game tmrw

neil: kevin, i can sense your bullshit from here

kev: omg what if we win and we're all celebrating and then fall out boy come out and start playing their music and everyone is having a great time but fall out boy seem a little excited and they say “We have a surprise for you guys” and all of a sudden P!ATD come out and start singing “this is gospel” and when Brendon gets to the chorus, someone else starts singing… “When I was a young boy my father took me into the city to see a marching band.” Lights flash everywhere, and you see FOB singing “this is gospel” along with P!ATD, while MCR is singing “Black parade”. Everyone in the crowd is going wild and crying. Then if things couldn’t get any better, Dan and Phil walk onto stage and kiss, holding the gay flag

_renee removed kev from the group._

renee: i just

renee: think he needs a time out

×

** _Bonus:_ **

dan: hey kev

dan: kev?

nicky: (he's upset)

nicky: (we don't know why)

renee: is he okay? 😔

drew: it's his mom's birthday

dan: oh

matt: oh

ally: get him to look at his phone for like 2 seconds pls

drew: ok fine

kev: what's up

ally: WOW kevin day is such a COOL and FUNNY guy who we love to be on an exy team with

neil: he's really good at exy and really good at coaching us!!

aaron: what a cool and loveable guy

drew: he smells good

kev: guys

nicky: and we're REALLY GLAD he's a part of our family

dan: yeah we wouldn't trade kevin day for anu one in the world!!

renee: boy, he deserves to have a good day today!!

matt: and he can always come and give me a hug whenever he needs it!!

ally: and me!

dan: and me!

kev: guys

renee: and me!

nicky: and me!!

aaron: and he can hug nicky on my behalf

drew: and mine

neil: kevin i would die for you and will kill for you.

kev: thanks y'all

kev: except neil

neil: WHAT

kev: i just wanted to start drama

kev: but seriously thank you, i love y'all

dan: wanna come nap in our dorm?

kev: ...yes i do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> is it really a fic i wrote if i didn't include kevin angst and too many goofs about dying that were literally said to me and by me in my group chat?? no.

**Author's Note:**

> character accuracy doesnt matter when you accept that this story ultimately means nothing


End file.
